I'll be yours | I'll weave for you

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the marvellous web;
glow in the dark threads,
all neon like;
the cocoon surrounds you.

pro-tip; don’t post for months on end and then spam your remaining followers with webcam pics of your orthodontal work xoxo

pro-tip; don’t post for months on end and then spam your remaining followers with webcam pics of your orthodontal work xoxo

— 2 weeks ago with 1 note

T is married with two children and on the one hand I think I wish that I’d never met him, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. his son is in hospital with a cough and since his wife and children and family were all visiting him last weekend he’s gone quiet.

I don’t know what to think or feel anymore; I keep careening between numbness and subdued angst over how stupid this whole situation is.

I was in London last week and I had an all-mighty panic attack, the worst since my major ~meltdown~ in 2012 where my dad and my aunt had to rescue me. this time I was alone in Knightsbridge and poor popsicle is too ill to even help himself now so I was completely alone. ended up tucked away in a churchyard somewhere sobbing. it was terrifying. eventually managed to get a cab back to euston station and the train from there to where I was staying.

fuuuuuuuuck me it’s impossible for things to remain uncomplicated for long

— 2 weeks ago
dazed and confusedall limbsall ears
I want to eat eat eat and sleep sleep sleep

dazed and confused
all limbs
all ears

I want to eat eat eat and sleep sleep sleep

— 2 weeks ago
things that have happened recently
  • I have finally passed first year of college/uni. it only took 3 years, one nervous breakdown, and a complete change of direction but I’ve done it
  • my dad’s original diagnosis of Parkinson’s has been changed to a more aggressive form of brain disorder. he now requires constant care and it’s likely that within the next 6-12 months he will become wheelchair bound.
  • I went to Turkey for a week and developed a romantic friendship with an older married man. part of me has fallen for him quite badly, but I’m not going to continue the cycle of pain my parents set in motion 22 years ago.
— 1 month ago with 3 notes

and ofc nobody wants me

nobody ever wants me

— 2 months ago

and my dad’s parkinson’s is worse than ever he’ll be coming home from hospital soon after having gone into hospital in february, but he needs 24 hour care from now on and his mobility is limited

I’m terrified of the future; he deteriorated so rapidly

one week he was mostly independent, the next he couldn’t raise a spoon up to his own mouth 

— 2 months ago

I’m so fucking angry and it’s all muddled up so I’m not sure where it begins and where it ends

Read more
— 2 months ago