I’ve developed these very intense feelings for women before, it’s a love where I become fiercely protective and will literally fight anyone who hurts them and I feel the need to nurture them, and it ultimately hurts because last time, and apparently this time, I fell for someone completely fickle who unthinkingly hurts people. and I let myself get hurt and hurt again until eventually that love is eroded.
I don’t understand it; I don’t have the same patience with men. or I do, rarely. the men I’ve loved have been more aware and caring - I don’t have the same patience for men who are corrosive, I guess?
I don’t feel the same physical passion and yearning for women that I do feel for men like R…
people always say “please talk!!” but what’s the fucking point if when it comes down to it, they just ignore you and act like you don’t exist?
can’t even call samaritans because I’m trying to maintain my pokerface for when I need to get my dad upstairs and into bed in a little while.